Videos uploaded by user “Kit Welchlin”
Do Men And Women Speak a Different Language? - presented by Kit Welchlin
Gender Communication http://welchlin.com You may feel comfortable speaking to a person of the opposite sex, but it could very well not be the case. Men and women do in fact speak a different language. At least they have a different vocabulary. For example, men use more swearing, expressions of hostility, and expletives. Women use 5 - 7 times more intensifiers, hedges, fillers and qualifiers. Women say things like... 'kind of' 'sort of' 'maybe' 'possibly' Even phrases like... 'I know you're awfully busy, but...' 'I'm sorry to bother you, but...' 'I hope you don't mind, but...' And men will say things like... 'Well, I am busy' 'You are bothering me' 'Actually, I do mind' The bottom line when considering the different language between men and women is that men need to knock off the cussing and swearing and women need to cut out the hedges and qualifiers to be more straightforward and confident. So, by making these minor adjustments you will be able to work more comfortably with others on your team and not distract from the value of their ideas. For more ideas on improving gender communication within your organization, watch Kit's presentation http://welchlin.com/presentations/men-and-women/. Don't forget to stop back in next Monday for another video blog.
Views: 13256 Kit Welchlin
Leadership: What do ethics have to do with leadership?
Ethics, character, moral intelligence…some people think these concepts seem old-fashioned. Some leaders cut corners, bend the rules, or shade the truth because they are afraid they might miss opportunities. Leaders need to build their reputation on an ethical foundation. When the economy gets tough and it gets harder and harder to hit the numbers, sometimes ethics get a little sloppy. The key to professional success is to display ethical conduct in all things. Leaders that are known for demonstrating ethical behavior are trusted and respected. Character involves two qualities: honesty and impartiality. Character is to do the right thing. Credibility is a valuable commodity and credibility refers to the believability of the leader. Sometimes it is easy to recognize unethical behaviors such as withholding information, deliberately distorting information, being coercive, or flat-out lying. Sometimes the unethical behavior is subtle and mildly manipulative. Ethical leaders are never involved in shady business schemes or shady activities. Because once a reputation is tarnished, it will never be the same. It is vital that leaders have clear policies and take clear actions when policies are violated. Ethics is “good” business. It is difficult to follow a leader that is not trustworthy. It is a waste of emotional energy to wonder if the boss really means it…this time. Character builds confidence in all relationships. Guiding principles provide staff clear direction on what to do and how to do. Ethics and effective leadership go hand in hand. Check back to http://welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 3989 Kit Welchlin
Am I not listening?
People are hearing, but may not be listening. There are many types of non-listening behaviors. Pseudo-listening, where it looks like you are listening, but you are not. It is an imitation of the real thing. Another is stage-hogging. This is when a person, turns every topic of conversation to themselves, instead of showing interest in the other person. Some people are selective listeners. They respond only to the parts of the conversation that interest them, rejecting or ignoring everything else. Then there are insulated listeners. Instead of looking for something in the conversation, they work hard at avoiding it. Whenever a topic arises that they would rather not deal with, insulated listeners simply act like they didn’t hear it. There are also defensive listeners. They look for the opportunity to take your innocent comments as personal attacks. Then there are the ambushers. Ambushers listen carefully to you, but only because they are collecting information they will use against you, like an attorney and a cross-examination. And finally there are the insensitive listeners. They are unable to look beyond the words and behavior to understand subtle or hidden messages. Instead they take a person’s remarks at face value without considering vocal or visual cues. There is more to listening than just sitting there. Listening is more than hearing, and listening is more than picking and choosing what to pay attention to. To be successful, a professional needs to gather as much information as possible, from as many people as possible. That’s what listening is all about. Check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 936 Kit Welchlin
Who talks more, women or men?
Have you noticed when you walk by the cubicles you can hear women talking freely with each other, but not so much the men. Then you get in a staff meeting and the men are babbling like crazy and the women are hardly talking. One of my favorite books is, You Just Don't Understand, by Dr. Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University. Her research suggests that women feel more comfortable doing private speaking, while men feel more comfortable doing public speaking. She calls this rapport talk and report talk. Dr. Tannen has found that for most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport; a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships. Emphasis is placed on displaying similarities and matching experiences. For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status and social order. Men do this by exhibiting knowledge and skill, and by holding center stage through verbal performance such as story telling, joking, or sharing information. It isn't whether women or men talk more; it is a difference in conversational style. Women and men have different tendencies and ways of talking. Once people realize that their coworkers have different conversational styles, we are able to accept differences without blaming. Don't make the mistake of believing that there is one right way to listen, talk, or to have a conversation. Close the communication gap with creative options for discussion.
Views: 1196 Kit Welchlin
Interpersonal Communication: What Are Dialectical Tensions?
Sometimes the tension at work is so thick you can cut it with a knife. If this happens in your organization, you might be struggling with dialectical tensions. The Dialectical Model is the perspective that people in virtually all interpersonal relationships must deal with equally important, simultaneous, and opposing forces. For example, in an argument with someone important to you, the desire to win (satisfying the need to be “right”) clashes with the social need of maintaining a good relationship.
Views: 1448 Kit Welchlin
Is Paraphrasing Really Necessary? - presented by Kit Welchlin
You might think that you are a great listener. Even though you might have an innate ability to grasp the facts and feelings quickly, without having to talk about things over and over again. You don't miss a thing. Paraphrasing takes a lot of time and effort. Is it really necessary? Yes, it is necessary. In fact, it can save time and money by preventing misunderstandings and mistakes. Paraphrasing is an understanding and reflecting response, that indicates your intent to understand the other person's thoughts and feelings. Listening and interpretation is only 25% accurate. This means 3 out of 4 times we have it a bit off. There are 3 main reasons to why we paraphrase: Demonstrate that we do understand Show that we are trying to understand So that people can hear what they just said People think faster than they can talk and sometimes we need to parrot back to them in case they need to clarify the message they were trying to convey. The key to effective paraphrasing is to listen closely and whenever there is a chance of misunderstanding, reflect on the thoughts and feelings of the other person to help clarify the conversation and enhance accuracy. For more on effective listening, watch Kit Welchlin's presentation here http://welchlin.com/presentations/listening-skills/ Check back next Monday for another video blog.
Views: 2495 Kit Welchlin
What About Personality Conflicts?
There can be personality conflicts on teams and at the meetings. Some meetings are like a verbal fist-fight – someone leads with a sarcastic statement, someone responds with an innuendo. Even though people selected the same industry, interviewed to work in the same organization, personalities might still clash. Hopefully you have a ground rule that you can refer to that will stall or permanently stop the disrespectful speech. If not, it’s time to establish one. When a sarcastic statement is voiced, ask for specifics, or ask them what they mean by their comments. A useful method to manage personality conflicts is to split the meeting participants into two or three sub-groups and put them on separate teams. You may be able to create some friendly competition that will produce positive results and soften the personality clash. Also, taking a break or two can help diffuse the tension. If it continues to fester, you can simply stop the meeting and ask the group or team for suggestions. Get it out in the open and discuss it rationally. It is clear that these two people find it challenging to work together. As a group, brainstorm twenty or thirty ideas that could be considered that could help make meetings more constructive than destructive. When it comes to personality conflicts at work…we need to find a way to make it work. Sometimes people are scrapping with each other to get appreciation or at least get some attention. Sometimes it is their personality or sometimes it is their sense of humor. No matter what it is…it is destructive…to the team and to morale. Have the courage to address the issue and move your meetings forward.
Views: 1373 Kit Welchlin
Intercultural Communication:  What About Uncertainty Avoidance?
I’m sure you have noticed, whether you are a college student or out there in the “real world,” how differently people approach change and risk. There could be an element of intercultural communication coming into play called uncertainty avoidance. Some cultures accept and even welcome risk, uncertainty, and change; others are uncomfortable with these unavoidable trends. If you are from a culture that has a high tolerance for uncertainty, you may be more willing to take risks and more accepting of change. You also may be more willing to break rules for pragmatic reasons. And you would probably accept conflict as natural. If, however, you are from a culture that has a low tolerance for uncertainty, you may favor stability. You would probably tend to avoid surprises and be uncomfortable with ambiguous tasks and reluctant to take risks. Also, you are probably more loyal to employers and accept seniority as the basis for leadership. Finally, you might view conflict as undesirable. So, keep this in mind, you may have a tolerance for uncertainty, however, others may not. It may be because of a cultural perspective. Some cultures welcome change and others may try to avoid it. Some cultures welcome risk and others favor stability. The key is to keep the conversation going by encouraging and welcoming the value of both perspectives.
Views: 624 Kit Welchlin
Gender Communication: Differences - presented by Kit Welchlin
Men and women use different vocabulary and communication strategies. Let's visit some of the differences in the way men and women communicate: Men use more swearing, hostility, profanity and expletives Women use 5 - 7 times more intensifiers, hedges, adjectives and qualifies - maybe, sort of, kind of, etc. Women have a greater repertoire of adjectives and a more expansive vocabulary Men interrupt women more often than women interrupt men Women are more aware of turn-taking in conversations Women ask questions instead of making statements - hinting Men don't get the hint Men use more space, dominance cues - speak louder, indirect body posture It is important to be aware of the differences in how each gender communicates so that we can understand more fully each conversation and not take things too personally. In order to enrich your conversations make sure when speaking with the opposite gender you understand how they communicate. For more on Gender Communication, follow the link below to watch a brief clip of Kit Welchlin's presentation on Gender Communication: Men Are From Fleet Farm; Women Are From Nordstrom's. http://welchlin.com/presentations/men-and-women/
Views: 2765 Kit Welchlin
Is Social Skill What Emotional Intelligence is All About?
Social skill is more than having a few Facebook friends. Social skill is the outcome of the other dimensions of emotional intelligence. Social skill is friendliness with a purpose; moving people in the desired direction, whether that's agreement on a new strategy or enthusiasm about a new product. Socially skilled people have many acquaintances, and they have developed a talent for building rapport and finding common ground. They are excellent collaborators and they are driven to find a solution. Socially skilled people are adept at managing teams. They are upbeat and energetic. They know when to make an emotional appeal and when to make a logical appeal. Socially skilled people build relationships with people throughout the organization, because they know they may need help someday, from people they are just getting to know today. They have a network in place when the time for action comes. Career success is based upon getting work done through people, and social skill makes that possible. Empathy and motivation are useless if a person cannot communicate effectively with their coworkers. Social skill allows people to put their emotional intelligence to work.
Views: 924 Kit Welchlin
Why Is Listening So Tiring? - presented by Kit Welchlin
Sometimes it's hard to listen. You may feel like your co-workers just keep going on and on. It can be exhausting. Listening effectively is hard work. The heart rate quickens, respiration increases, and your body temperature rises. Just like a stress response. It can be physically and psychologically draining. The process of listening involves a sequence of 6 exhausting stages: Motivation - The listener must create the motivation and desire to listen, which is tough when you believe you've heard it all before. Stimulus - As a listener, you receive not only auditory stimuli, but also visual stimuli. It's what you hear and see. Attending - The listener concentrates on the message received in order to store it for later use, focusing on what the information relates to. Interpreting - The listener considers the verbal and nonverbal messages and analyzes the message for the proper meaning. Responding - After a message has been interpreted by the listener, he/she must responder to it in some way. Even no response is still a response. Remembering - The ability to recall the information by having a system and a process that helps you retain and to also be able to explain the information later. Yes, there are 6 exhausting stages of listening. You are right to think that listening is tiring. If you focus on improving your performance in each of these stages of listening and become even a little more effective in each stage, you will move from being an adequate listener to becoming an active listener. If you want to learn more on sharpening your listening skills, follow this link to watch Kit Welchlin's presentation http://welchlin.com/presentations/listening-skills/ Don't forget to check back next Monday for another Video Blog.
Views: 391 Kit Welchlin
What Does Self-Regulation Have To Do With Emotional Intelligence?
Self-regulation is that little voice inside. It is the component of emotional intelligence that frees us from being a victim of our feelings. People that possess Emotional Intelligence, feel bad moods and emotional impulses, just as everyone else does, but they find ways to control and channel those feelings in useful ways. Self-regulation enhances integrity, which not only good for the person, but also good for their profession. Many of the bad things that happen in organizations are a function of impulsive behavior, such as exaggerating profits, padding expense accounts, or abusing power. The signs of emotional self-regulation include the patience for reflection and thoughtfulness, comfort with ambiguity and change, and an ability to say no to impulsive urges. People who are in control of their feelings and impulses are reasonable, and are able to create an environment of trust and fairness. In such an environment, politics and infighting are sharply reduced and productivity is high. Biological impulses drive our emotions. People who have mastered their emotions are able to roll with the punches and the changes. People that possess Emotional Intelligence are able to suspend judgment, seek information, and listen to coworkers as they explain new ideas and initiatives.
Views: 1125 Kit Welchlin
Aren't Hearing and Listening the Same Thing? - presented by Kit Welchlin
There is a difference between hearing and listening. We hear 24 hours a day, but we really listen very little. There is more to listening than just hearing. We have to be active if we want to be an effective listener. Active listening involves four major steps. Step 1: Getting Prepaid Physically and Psychologically. Physically - Get a good night's rest, eat a good diet, and improve your posture. Psychologically - Review the agenda, the issues that will be discussed, and write out some questions you would like to have answered. Step 2: Stay Involved - Take notes, ask questions, share your opinions, offer insight, share information and participate in discussions Step 3: Keeping an Open Mind - The key to effective listening is to listen conscientiously for completeness and not jump to haste generalizations and conclusions. Listen without judgement until all information has been considered. Step 4: Reviewing & Evaluating - This involves two things: Review and evaluate the information and also review and evaluate your performance as a listener. When did you drift off, lose focus, or daydream? When you listen, make sure to follow these four steps of active listening so that you can know, understand, and are prepared for gathering and interpreting the information given. For more on effective listening, visit Kit Welchlin's site to watch his related presentation: http://welchlin.com/presentations/listening-skills/ Check back next Monday for another video blog.
Views: 4641 Kit Welchlin
Empowerment: What is Empowerment?
It is sometimes difficult to keep up with the trendy terms, the technical jargon, and the buzzwords. Here’s a new one: empowerment. Sounds like a fancy word for “someone dumping their work on me”. So, what is empowerment? What I have found is if you ask five different people that question, you will probably get five different answers. But there are some common themes that we can recognize concerning empowerment. Empowerment refers to processes, activities, or measures designed to increase the degree of autonomy and self-determination in people and departments in organizations. Empowerment also supports employees gaining knowledge and developing skills that will allow them to overcome obstacles in their personal and professional lives. If we consider organizational theory, empowerment often refers in general to processes and procedures for giving workers greater discretion, resources, and control, in order to serve both the customer and the organization better. Overall, empowerment involves approaches that promise more participation, responsibility, and independence. So the bottom line is…trust, because empowerment involves the allocation of duties, the delegation of authority, the assignment of responsibility, and the creation of accountability. Crafting opportunities for empowerment will go a long way in keeping employees and keeping them engaged. Empowerment can be just a concept. How about making it a reality? Get in the conversations and describe the observable behaviors that will support empowerment. You’re empowered? Aren’t you?
Views: 1354 Kit Welchlin
Handling Difficult People: Don't Take It Personally
Handling Difficult People In this week's video blog, Kit Welchlin offers four helpful strategies to use when dealing with difficult people so that you won't take it personally. Just remember, it's not personal. They might treat everyone this way. These techniques will help you to respond rather than react. When dealing with difficult people, we have to have thicker skin. Here are four techniques that can be game changers in conversations with difficult people. Move Closer - At the next meeting with the person, instead of sitting in the opposite side of the room, just move over one chair. Next month, move another chair closer. And repeat. Pretty soon you'll be sitting right next to them, changing the distance changes the dynamic. Remember It's a Game - Repeat to yourself that this is just a game. The game could be intimidation or it could be humiliation. But, since it is a game, you get to choose whether or not to play. Think of Them as a Metaphor - Think of that difficult people as a metaphor, not a human being. A human wouldn't treat you this badly. For example, think of them as a kangaroo. Just imagine how silly that would make them look to you. That way, when they approach you, you would laugh rather than get upset. Laugh - Make sure you don't take it seriously. When you laugh, it releases endorphines which relieve stress. This will help you from dragging the negative episodes into the relationship which may still be innocent. If you use these techniques, you can take away a lot of stress and the strain of having to interact with people that become difficult. Just remember to not take it personally. For more insight into dealing with difficult people, watch Kit's presentation on Handling Difficult People: Dealing With People You Can't Stand. http://welchlin.com/presentations/handling-difficult-people/ And don't for get to check back here next Monday for another video blog. http://welchlin.com
Views: 689 Kit Welchlin
Handling Difficult People: How Do I Listen To Difficult People?
Ever felt that sometimes when you share your genius ideas with your least favorite coworkers, they act like they have no interest? They act bored, and they act like they have heard it all before. They are so difficult to work with. And then they act like you should care what they think and listen to them go on and on and on. Are you wondering "How do I listen to difficult people?" Well, it isn't easy, especially listening to difficult people. When someone has treated us poorly over time, it is hard to respond to their communication enthusiastically. When someone hasn't listened to us, it is hard to listen to them. It is a struggle to listen to someone that you wish would simply "shut up." However, when we are interacting with someone we work with who has an impact on our long-term career, or our short-term career, we need to make being a good listener a priority. Rise to the occasion and tell yourself that this may be the most important five minutes of our day. Get into your most effective posture and focus your attention. Turn your body toward them to demonstrate interest. Ask questions when you're not sure about what they mean. If taking notes helps, be prepared with pen and paper. If eye contact is uncomfortable, just look at their front teeth and watch their little tongue dart in and out of their mouths. Really focus your attention and listen closely, as if you are listening to the most interesting ideas and the most valuable information you have ever heard in your life. Listening is often rated as the most admired skill in communication. We don't learn much when we are talking, however, we learn quite a bit from listening. Listen first and you will have more credibility when you respond. Good leaders are good listeners. To learn more on dealing with difficult people watch Kit's keynote presentation http://welchlin.com/presentations/dealing-with-difficult-people/. Check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 363 Kit Welchlin
Ethos, Logos, Pathos, Oh My! - presented by Kit Welchlin
Persuading and Influencing Others: Ethos, Logos, Pathos, Oh My! People say you have great style...and of course, great substance, too. Sometimes you might feel out-of-balance when trying to persuade and influence others. You might feel a bit like Goldilocks -- too hot and too cold, too little too much, too much feelings, too little facts, too many facts, too little feeling, too general, too specific. You ask yourself, "How do I balance style with substance?" Too much of anything is manipulation. Balance is critical when persuading and influencing others. There are three pillars of proof we must balance to be effective. These are Ethos, Logos and Pathos. Think of these three principles like the legs of a three-legged stool. All three of the legs of the stool need to be the same length to avoid looking crooked. Ethos, Logos, and Pathos, need to be the same depth, otherwise you will seem...crooked. Ethos is your credibility, your trustworthiness, your reputation. You always drag yourself along into the conversation. What do people think when the think of you...Ethos. Logos is the logic. Does this make sense? Does this add up? Are the ideas well researched and believable? Pathos is the emotional aspects of the other party, their fears, hopes, reservations, and desires. Take the time to really understand the other party and incorporate their concerns into the conversation. Your style will shine through during your discussions. The key is to balance your good reputation and status, by investing some time to research thoroughly, and by investing some time and understand others fully. You can balance style and substance. For more on Persuading and Influencing others, watch Kit's presentation http://welchlin.com/presentations/persuading-and-influencing/. And don't forget to check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 386 Kit Welchlin
What Are Meeting Roles?
It is always awkward at the start of a meeting. Everyone is talking, and chit chatting, and need to get down to business. Establishing meeting roles will help. There are five roles that need to be played during the meeting: a facilitator or leader, a time keeper, a ready and willing flip chart recorder or erasable board writer, a secretary or minute taker, and positive and productive participants! The facilitator or leader plans, prepares, and presides over the agenda and the meeting process. The facilitator or leader manages discussions and decision-making activities, and evaluates the meeting to make future meetings better. The timekeeper is responsible for keeping the meeting moving along and following the schedule to make sure all of the agenda items are covered. The timekeeper watches the clock so staff won’t get bogged down or drift off into other topics. The flip chart recorder or erasable board writer writes as fast and legible as possible, recording and displaying information as it is presented. This information should be collected and combined with the minutes. So that leads us to the minute recorder or secretary. The minutes taker or secretary provides written play by play and is responsible for keeping a record of discussion topics, decisions, tasks, assignments, deadlines, and the names of participants. Finally, there is the positive and productive participant. Each attendee should stay focused and listen to others’ ideas, contribute to the discussions, refrain from side conversations, takes some notes, and NOT leave the meeting for NON-emergency reasons. Start the meeting by assigning roles and reminding participants that meetings are not a spectator sport. Meetings need to produce results. It is our role to make sure that happens. Rotate the roles regularly so every member of the team gets a chance to polish their skills. Check back at Welchlin.com for new video blogs.
Views: 1244 Kit Welchlin
What Does Motivation Have to Do with Emotional Intelligence?
One of my favorite books is entitled, "100 Ways to Motivate Yourself" by Steve Chandler. People with motivation are driven to achieve.  They are motivated by a deep desire to achieve, simply for the sake of achievement.  They have a passion for the work itself.  They seek creative challenges, like to learn, and take great pride in a job well done. People with achievement motivation display interest and energy to do things better.  They are rarely satisfied with the status quo.  They ask questions about why things are done the way they are.  They are eager to explore new approaches to their work.  Motivated people like to keep score.  They like to track progress as well as their teams and their organizations. People with high motivation remain optimistic even when things aren't going their way.  Self-regulation combines with achievement motivation, to overcome the frustration and depression that come after a setback or failure. People with high levels of achievement motivation tend to be committed to their organizations.  When people love their jobs for the work itself, they often feel committed to the organizations that make that work possible.  Committed employees are likely to stay with an organization, even when pursued by headhunters or competitors.
Views: 501 Kit Welchlin
Procrastination:  What Does the Pain-Pleasure Principle Have To Do with Procrastination?
It’s nice to be comfortable. We would rather do tasks we enjoy. Procrastination is often caused by the avoidance of unpleasant or painful tasks. We all would rather do something pleasant rather than unpleasant. When we postpone an unpleasant task, we are attempting to make life more pleasurable and avoid the miserable or the painful. Unfortunately, the unpleasant task seldom disappears, thus once the consequences for not performing the activity become more painful than the unpleasant task, we take action. So what can we do to break procrastination? One of the best strategies is to schedule and handle the unpleasant task first. Just like when we were kids and we would eat our spinach first, get it out of the way, and enjoy the rest of our meal. I still do the same thing, today, when it comes to salad. I don’t enjoy it, but I know it’s good for me. Here’s another strategy. Sometimes considering the costs of delay can help us get on track and take action. What problems are you creating by waiting? How much anxiety and frustration will you feel by waiting? What opportunities or options will be lost by delay? Also, it helps if we can break up the painful task into small pieces. Slice and dice the task into five, ten, or fifteen minute chunks. We can endure anything painful for a few minutes. Finally, setting deadlines, and sticking to them can help to get you started on an unpleasant task. Promise to reward yourself promptly after completing the deed. Consider inviting a partner or coworker to work with you. The task may still be unpleasant, but it will be completed more quickly and it may be less painful with some company. Find a way to appreciate the challenge of finishing unpleasant tasks. Give yourself a pep talk along the way. Reward yourself when you are done – you earned it.
Views: 574 Kit Welchlin
Time Management - presented by Kit Welchlin
A selected segment of Kit Welchlin's presentation on Time Management. For more on Kit Welchlin, or to book Kit to speak, visit http://welchlin.com
Views: 162 Kit Welchlin
Why Don't Millennials Ever Call Me Back? - presented by Kit Welchlin
Generational Communication Have you noticed that when you call the younger generation on the phone that they rarely ever call you back? Some of your younger co-workers might even say to you, "I don't do phones." There really is a difference in how the generations connect when it comes to communication. Some differences in how each generation prefer to connect: Traditionals would like a handwritten note or even meet for breakfast or lunch Baby Boomers a quick phone would work or meet in their office Generation Xers prefer a quick email with an attachment. But be simple and just include bullet points Millennials (the youngest generation) - the best way to connect with them is to send a text message. Or heck, you may want to take a picture and send an Instagram So, when your younger co-workers ask you to send them a text message, make sure you have their number! If you want your co-workers to respond to your requests, you have to follow the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would like to be done unto. Reach them through the channel of communication that they choose. For more on generational communication, watch Kit's presentation. http://welchlin.com/presentations/generational-communication/ Don't forget to check back next Monday for another one of Kit's video blogs.
Views: 1115 Kit Welchlin
What Are Spheres of Influence?
The concept of sphere of influence concerns the domain, or the areas of our careers, in which one can effectively exert influence. Think of the spheres of influence like a set of concentric circles, in which influence is strongest near the center, and weaker as the distance from the center increases. Your personal sphere of influence is likely to be strong in some spheres, departments, teams, divisions, and weak in others. Think about your relationships with vendors, suppliers, professional associations, and your colleagues. How much influence do you really have with each connection? The strength of personal influence is a function of two elements: one or another form of positional, relational, or personal power, and the level of the dependencies of others. You can use what are called the currencies of exchange to expand your organizational influence. These currencies are such things as goods and services, talents and skills, information, and resources that are at your disposal, to build influence with others in the organization. Consider technical assistance, the sharing of information, or the lending of space or equipment as tools to use to assess and assert the strength of your spheres of influence. Think about how you can help others that are struggling with technology. Share information that helps a superior or a subordinate successfully tackle a task. Express public recognition of others’ achievements. It really doesn’t matter what you do as long as it is valuable to them. Be strategic in your efforts to extend your influence. Give priority to the spheres of influence that are most relevant to your success. Understand what others want or value. Ask yourself where your influence is most needed and then find ways to create and expand that influence.
Views: 1022 Kit Welchlin
What Is The Self-Concept?
We need a healthy self-concept and a positive self-esteem. However, all of us have areas of our lives we could improve. Your self-concept is what you believe about yourself. It is your image of who you are. It’s your feelings and thoughts about your strengths and weaknesses. Your self-concept is your thoughts and feelings about your abilities and limitations. It takes in account your physical, mental and emotional makeup. Self-concept includes your personality and your social self. Self-concept is your thinking, daydreaming, studying, creating, listening, responding, and speaking from your self-perspective. It is your own impression, opinion, attitude, and description regarding yourself. Or is it? We often see our selves in the reflection of others, a mirroring of the judgments of those around us. This is called reflected appraisal. Reflected appraisal refers to how we develop an image of ourselves from the way people respond to us and from the way we think others view us. We need to be careful about who we hang out with. I don’t know exactly who said it first. You are the composition, combination, or compilation, of the books you read and the people with whom you spend time. We have hundreds of self-concepts. Red light – things we think we are not good at. Yellow light – things we are cautious about doing. Green light – things we believe we are good at. Give yourself the green light to learn new skills and build new relationships. You are probably much more talented than you think you are. Check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog
Views: 5608 Kit Welchlin
Team Building: What Social Role Do I Play on a Team?
We are social beings. Sometimes team meetings are boring and no fun whatsoever. All work and no play. Yuck! We get our work done. We cover the agenda, but nobody enjoys the experience. It would be nice to enjoy each other’s company and maybe even have some fun. Working on teams can be fun. There are many social/maintenance roles that need to be played on a team. These are important roles that help team members get along. Teamwork is a task event and a social event. You can be: A Supporter/Encourager and accept and praise others’ ideas and suggestions. Or a Harmonizer who mediates disagreements and discuss differences. Or a Tension Reliever and relax the team with your delightful sense of humor. You could also be a Conciliator and be willing to admit your own errors in ideas or judgment and demonstrate the willingness to compromise. You could play: Gatekeeper and encourage silent or shy members to participate. Or a Feeling Expresser and share feelings and moods, whether emotional or physical. Or a Follower, that is sometimes willing to go along with the team’s ideas passively. It’s nice to get things done and it sure is nice to get along. So go ahead and be the tension reliever and make it kind of fun when the pressure starts to build. Be the gatekeeper and draw out the quiet members. The team has smart people and it would be good to hear their ideas. Social maintenance roles help teams establish and maintain cohesiveness. It’s okay to have some fun. It is critical that team members look forward to team meetings rather than resenting that they have to attend. It is important for the team to get things done and for the team members to get along. Check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 991 Kit Welchlin
What Does Self-Awareness Have to Do with Emotional Intelligence?
If you are like me you have taken many assessments. It is valuable information that can be put to good use. Self-awareness is the first component of emotional intelligence. People who have a high degree of self-awareness recognize how their feelings affect them, other people, and their job performance. Self-awareness extends to a person's understanding of his or her goals. People with high self-awareness know where they are headed. People with high self-awareness are able to speak accurately and openly about their feelings and the impact these emotions have on their work. Self-aware people know, and are comfortable talking about their limitations and strengths, and they often demonstrate comfort with receiving constructive criticism. Self-aware people can also be recognized by their self-confidence. They have a realistic understanding of their capabilities and are less likely to set themselves up for failure. They also know when to ask for help. People who possess self-awareness often have a self-deprecating sense of humor; which is socially comfortable for all. People with a strong sense of self-awareness have a deep understanding of their own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, needs, and drives. People with strong self-awareness are neither overly critical nor unrealistically hopeful. Rather, they are honest with themselves and with others.
Views: 1331 Kit Welchlin
Are You Even Listening? - presented by Kit Welchlin
You are a very important person. However, when you don't show others that you are paying attention to them, then they may not feel so important. Ask yourself, "When was the last time someone complimented you on your listening skills?" Many researchers say that listening is the number one most admired quality of a coworker. But, you must look like you're listening. There are six main nonverbal cues that signal workers that you are in fact listening. Remember to maintain STABLE nonverbal communication. Squarely face the other person - tells that person that you are focused Tip your head occasionally - shows you're following along Attentive facial expressions - smile when you agree, look confused when you don't understand Barrier free environment - remove the barriers between you and the other person Lean forward slightly - show your enthusiasm as a listener Eye contact - people know you hear with your ears, but they judge whether or not you're listening with your eyes If you get into that effective listening posture, not only will people believe you're listening to them but it will actually improve your listening comprehension too. Remember listening is free. A minor adjustment in your listening behavior can have a major impact on your relationship. For more on interpersonal communication, watch Kit Welchlin's presentation on Improving Our Relationships. Check back in next Monday for another video blog.
Views: 733 Kit Welchlin
Listening: Are You A People-Oriented Listener?
Views: 272 Kit Welchlin
Cross-Cultural Communication:  Is Silence Golden?
Have you noticed that some people are quite chatty and others are sort of silent? Silence can convey so many different messages across cultures. Silence can be used to express disagreement, surprise, sorrow, defiance, approval, embarrassment, obligation, criticism, calming, humility, regret, condemnation or consent and many more. Americans believe that talking is good, that rhetoric is critical to self-expression. Often believing a person has greater impact by speaking rather than listening. Most Americans are uncomfortable with long periods of silence. Americans tend to rush through pauses and quickly complete sentences. The Western tradition is relatively negative in its attitude toward silence, especially in professional and social relations. Speech has a positive connotation and silence has a negative one. Some cultures find that silence is a valuable component of nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication, which includes listening behaviors, is a critical component of social currency and it is very important to demonstrate caring and demonstrate understanding. The ability to substitute strong emotional reactions with polite silence is important for social harmony. The effort suggests the value of silence and its association with self-restraint. It is important to consider cultural dynamics. Silence…to some…is golden. America is a relatively task-oriented culture, and Americans often want to get to the point. A socially oriented culture may practice silence to build relationship. Silence demonstrates not just hearing, but real consideration and valuation of what is being said by others. Silence and listening is a key element in cross-cultural interactions and establishing trust.
Views: 613 Kit Welchlin
Team Building:  What Task Role Do I Play on a Team?
Sometimes we don’t know what to do during team meetings. We’re not sure how to act or what role to play on the team. Should we say something or just keep our head down and my mouth shut? There are more than a dozen task roles that need to be played on a team. Be prepared to play many roles on a team. They are each important and help teams get things done. You can be: An Initiator/Contributor and contribute ideas and suggestions. Or an Information Seeker and ask for information and facts. Or an Information Giver and offer facts or generalizations. You can be: An Opinion Seeker and ask for others’ opinions. Or an Opinion Giver and state your opinions and beliefs. Or an Elaborator/Clarifier who expands ideas and offer rationales. You could be: A Coordinator and integrate information and ideas. Or a Diagnostician and help clarify the problem. Or an Orienter/Summarizer that keeps the team on track. You could play: The Energizer and encourage the team and boost their emotional and physical energy. Or the Procedure Developer who handles equipment, papers, and seating arrangements. Or the Secretary and keep notes and record progress. Finally, you could play the role of Evaluator/Critic and constructively analyze ideas. Cast yourself into the roles you enjoy. Be the supporting actor and help the team create great solutions to problems. Life is a stage, so play a role. Think about these functional task roles like the spark plugs in your car engine. When a couple aren’t working properly, its hard to accelerate, performance is weak, and the result is disappointing. It's the same way on a team if a couple of these roles aren’t being played. Check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 978 Kit Welchlin
How Do You Form a Team? - presented by Kit Welchlin
Getting tired of working alone and kind of lonely? You have probably even decided to form a team and hold a meeting. That way you can see people, feel important, and eat donuts. Forming a team and holding a meeting is the practical alternative to work. Yet, creating a team is not supposed to be the alternative to work, it's supposed to be the advancement and application of work. When creating a team, it is a good idea to provide a full orientation concerning the team and the issues they will be resolving, as well as the problems they will be solving. This very first stage is often referred to as forming. Provide low-risk activities and discussions that give people a chance to get to know each other. Give people some time to get used to the setting. Talk in general terms about the problems the team will be addressing and also provide insight to definitions and appropriate evaluation criteria. Facilitate an informal discussion about the team's resources and limitations. Ask members about their particular strengths and weaknesses in relation to the team's future interactions and success. This forming stage is also when you ask for volunteers to temporarily take on various roles such as: time keeper, scribe, creative thinker, critical thinker, flip chart recorder, minutes taker, or facilitator. So, when forming a team, consider the issues that will need to be addressed, carefully select the participants that can meet those objectives, give the team a little time to get used to each others' style, and ease them into the discussions. Relational success will provide outstanding results. Check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 698 Kit Welchlin
Stress Management: Does Reading Relieve Stress?
Often, we have so much dry, boring, and technical information we have to read at work. It can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. It’s hard to belief reading can relieve stress. However, reading can reduce stress, especially if you pick something you enjoy.
Views: 205 Kit Welchlin
Intercultural Communication:  What is Individualism and Collectivism?
The workforce has become more and more diverse: different ages, values, ethnicities, and cultures. Some of people are reluctant talking up or challenging others’ ideas. Some cultures value the individual, whereas others value the group. This is referred to as individualism or collectivism. People that listen, without challenge, may be members of collectivistic cultures. They tend to be more attentive to and concerned with the opinions of significant others. They tend to be less direct in conflict situations and often place greater emphasis on harmony. They feel loyalties and obligations to groups of which they are members: the family, the community, the organization, and their work teams. If you grew up in the United States, you are likely a member of an individualistic culture. People that are from individualistic cultures tend to view their primary responsibility as being to themselves. They probably gain most of their identity and self-esteem from their own accomplishments and are characterized by self-reliance and competition. They are probably relatively tolerant of conflicts, using a direct, solution-oriented approach. This orientation is likely to produce and reward stars. So, are you looking out for number one? Are you self-reliant, have high self-esteem, and I love to be recognized for your individual effort and success? Here are my suggestions when it comes to the issue of individualism and collectivism. Members of an Individualistic culture need to manage their desires to dominate group discussions and to “win” in problem-solving situations. Members of a collectivistic culture need to consider speaking up and speaking out, even if it means disagreeing, when it is in the best interests of the group.
Views: 437 Kit Welchlin
How Do I Get My Point Across? - presented by Kit Welchlin
Persuading & Influencing Others: How Do I Get My Point Across? Have you sometimes gotten feedback that you ramble when you share your thoughts and ideas? Ideas keep coming to you and your brain is like a super-computer. Yet, it seems hard to get your point across. The key to getting your point across is to be disciplined in your approach and be clear and concise in your communication. A great technique to get your point across is the SEER method of explanation. Make a statement, provide an explanation, provide an example or two, and review with a restatement of your main point. Make the statement - Clearly state what point you are making..."We are finishing the project 3 days ahead of the deadline." Then explain by providing an explanation that is simple and straightforward... "Remember the deadline was the end of the month. Will be done the 27th." Provide examples that illustrate the concept you are describing... "We received the supplies a couple of days earlier than planned, the installation went more smoothly than scheduled, and the pilot was flawless." Finally a restatement that provides an internal review that will enhance retention and reinforcement of the concept... "So, we will be finishing the project 3 days ahead of the deadline." Be clear and concise. Make a statement, explain it, provide examples, and restate the main point. This formula follows our natural train of thought. People will be able to understand efficiently and take action effectively. For more on Persuading & Influencing Others watch Kit's Presentation http://welchlin.com/presentations/persuading-and-influencing/. And don't forget to check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 1228 Kit Welchlin
Why are the generations so different?
Baby Boomers encourage change. What about the other generations? Why are the generations so different? Each generation had significant events during their formative years. These events and trends have affected the way each generation sees the world. Veterans or Traditionals experienced the Great Depression and World War II. So they don't spend money freely and patriotism is very important to this oldest generation. The Baby Boomers grew up during the Vietnam Era, the Civil Rights Movement, and Women's Liberation. This generation experienced being change agents and believe individuals can make a difference. Generation Xers grew up with Watergate and corporate lay-offs. Gen Xers may not be able to fully trust government institutions or big business. Xers grew up in single-parent homes and are self-reliant and are independent. Millennials or Generation Y grew up with school violence, terrorism, and multiculturalism. So Millennials have a concern for personal safety and expect diversity in the workplace. Different life experiences create generational sub-cultures. A culture that has been shaped by the values of one generation isn't necessarily going to be compatible with the next generation. Throw in a big dose of technology and the friction gets worse. The generations are different and for good reason. It is sometimes hard to measure the general impact that these historical events have had on our personal and professional values and concerns. But I do know this; our personal history does have an impact on our priorities and expectations today.
Views: 571 Kit Welchlin
What About Telephone Negotiations?
You may play a key role in negotiations at work. You may even enjoy the negotiation process and the give and take. So, after the small talk, how do you get the negotiation underway?
Views: 326 Kit Welchlin
Cross-Cultural Communication:  Can You Give Me Some Space?
Some people stand really close to each other when they talk. Some people stand across the room when they chat. So, do you close the gap or ask people to back up and provide some space? Often different cultures have different orientations to social space. Spatial distance is just as powerful a communication component as sight, sound, smell, and touch. There are a number of different theories when it comes to space. One is protection theory, that we establish a body space buffer zone around ourselves as protection against unwanted touch or attack. Equilibrium theory holds that intimacy and distance vary together. The greater the intimacy, the closer the distance; the lower the intimacy, the greater the distance. Finally, expectancy theory explains what happens when you increase or decrease distance between yourself and another in interpersonal interactions. Researchers, Lustig and Koester, discovered in cross-cultural studies that people in the United States prefer greater distances between themselves and others than do persons living in many Latin American cultures. People from colder climates have a tendency to use large physical distances when they communicate, whereas, people from warmer climates tend to use small physical distances. Even Northern European cultures are said to have larger personal space bubbles than southern European cultures. In some Middle Eastern cultures, people stand close enough to feel and smell each other’s breath. So, plant your feet and let the other person determine the distance that is comfortable for them. Space, sight, sound, smell, and touch, all have a significant impact on our interpersonal interactions. Observe others’ behaviors, monitor and manage your own, and enjoy cross-cultural spatial comfort.
Views: 1624 Kit Welchlin
What Are Some Meeting Ground Rules?
Sometimes coworkers act like children during meetings: making faces, passing notes, laughing at…not with team members, and being just plain sassy. It helps to set ground rules. There are a number of different areas to consider when establishing ground rules. Here are just a few: required or optional attendance, promptness - individually and as a group, usual meeting location, standard meeting times, actions on assignments, time taken for breaks, interruptions by others, routine role rotation, agendas and preparations, note taking and minute writing, records storage, and any other activities that are unique to your staff and systems. Consider as many of these issues as possible and you may come up with some ground rules like these: Meetings start on time, one person speaks at a time, everyone participates, three-minute rule – no one holds the floor for more than 3 minutes, prepare and distribute the agenda 24-48 hours in advance, minutes to be prepared and distributed within 24-48 hours, and meetings end on time. Keep in mind that ground rules may need to change over time. Ground rules may need to be modified and may continue to evolve as individuals and issues come and go. Ground rules should be listed on the agenda, posted in the meeting room, and reviewed before each meeting. Set ground rules with the meeting attendees. Ground rules are a consistent reminder to treat everyone with respect. Ground rules help people feel comfortable and produce useful results. We spend a lot of time in meetings and they should be productive. Ground rules make meetings a good use of time rather than a waste of time.
Views: 1188 Kit Welchlin
How is trust destroyed?
Have noticed that some people in your department have a thin skin, no sense of humor, and take everything so personally? Maybe trust has been damaged. Trust can be damaged or destroyed in many ways. Trust is damaged when laughing at, not with, the other person, talking behind each other’s backs, gossiping or openly moralizing about another person’s behavior. Trust is damaged through expressions of disinterest or disrespect, and the refusal to reciprocate openness. Some people rely on equivocation, vagueness in word choice, or hinting when they feel vulnerable or uncomfortable with being completely honest. This type of behavior can create suspicion. Trust is often…destroyed… by betrayal, the abuse of another’s vulnerability, usually through ridicule or through lying. Once distrust is established, it is extremely hard to change. It is sad when it happens. The relationship will never be the same. People cite all sorts of reasons for lying. People lie to acquire resources, protect resources, initiate and continue interaction, avoid conflict, avoid interaction, present a competent image, or increase social desirability. Some people feel it is a risk to be honest; I think it is a risk to be a liar. Trust is damaged and destroyed in many ways and it is devastating. When the trust level is low; team members will be evasive, dishonest, and manipulative. When the trust level is high; team members openly express, thoughts, feelings, opinions, and information. Your job is to be clear and concise, kind and thoughtful, and as honest as possible. Check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.  
Views: 277 Kit Welchlin
Is It Okay For a Man To Cry? - presented by Kit Welchlin
Gender Communication: Why is it more acceptable for women to cry because of personal or professional setbacks, but it's uncomfortable to see a man cry? Society. It expects so much of us when it comes to masculinity and femininity. People make assumptions and have expectations about our behavior based on cultural norms. People expect men to be more forceful, competitive, and aggressive. They expect women to be cheerful, compassionate, and understanding. We all have personal and professional setbacks and we all experience the same feelings. Take a look at your organization. Does it allow people to be themselves or does it pressure them to conform to traditional expectations when it comes to masculinity and femininity? Considering this, build a supportive communication climate at work where people can be authentic without worrying about how they will be judged. For more of Kit's insights on improving gender communication within your organization, watch this presentation. And, don't forget to check back next Monday for another video blog.
Views: 212 Kit Welchlin
Leadership: What does being energetic have to do with leadership?
Many leaders need to show more energy. They don’t need to be jumping around, cheerleading, and distracting them. However, it would be nice if they demonstrated some natural enthusiasm. Energy is contagious. Our emotions are affected by the feelings of those around us. Actually, there is a term for it: emotional contagion. Emotional contagion is the process by which emotions are transferred from one person to another. Most of us recognize the degree to which emotions are infectious. Emotional contagion means that we experience the same feelings that others have. So, the people a leader guides will directly reflect the energy level they see and feel. Studies show that coworkers, too, can affect each other’s emotions, especially positive ones, even with their online communications. So being energetic doesn’t mean being silly. Serious people exude energy, too. This type of energy provides a confidence-building source for others. Enthusiasm is the result of an energetic person’s working on something he or she finds genuinely interesting. We have all experienced being around a calm person that leaves us feeling more at peace. We have all been in a good mood, only to have our day droop from being around a grump. Energy is contagious, and leaders need to make it available to catch. Energy, like any emotion, can be shared and the positive feelings transferred to others. Being willing to share the gift of your energy will provide big dividends. Sure, there is some vulnerability in being energetic, but it makes us all vulnerable, when people aren’t interested…in following their leaders. Check back to http://welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 282 Kit Welchlin
Are Traditionals Always Early for Work? - presented by Kit Welchlin
Generational Differences: Are Traditionals Always Early for Work? Do you own your own business and find that the Traditional Generation always seem to beat you to the office or workplace? Sometimes Traditionals will arrive an hour to work before their shift would start. Actually, each generation sees timeliness in a different light. It is important to recognize that there are differences in the timeliness of each generation. Within each generation there are differences. Here are some examples of what each generation considers important: Traditionals - Would be making coffee, getting ready and setting things up for the day. They are loyal and dedicated employees. Baby Boomers - Will show up early, but not too early. They are willing to stay and work late. Baby Boomers have a hard work ethic and are willing to work long ours. Just make sure you recognize them for it. Generation Xers - Will start negotiating they hours and shift times within the interview before they are even offered the job. Millennials - Will stay with you and work with you for a long time as long as the work has variety and meaning for them. They will do grunt work as long as the purpose and how it relates to the mission. All-in-all, you must be aware of how each generation differs in their timeliness and their work ethic. Traditionals do come to work early and they are loyal. You can count on them. Boomers will work really hard and need to be recognized for their long hours. Generation Xers want balance now, not when they're 65. And, Millennials want variety, community service projects and project-centered work assignments. Follow these guidelines and you will see positive feedback with employees of all generations. To hear more on Generational Communication, watch Kit's presentation http://welchlin.com/presentations/generational-communication/. And don't forget to check back next Monday for another video blog.
Views: 204 Kit Welchlin
How do you maintain trust?
You may be getting along with some of your colleagues, however, you may be struggling with a few of your new relationships. How do you maintain the trust that you have established? Establishing and maintaining trust requires us to be trusting and trustworthy. Trust is established through a series of trusting and trustworthy actions. If a person takes the risk of being open with sharing what they think and how they feel, they will receive either confirming or disconfirming responses, either acceptance or rejection. The key to maintaining trust is based upon your willingness to respond to another person’s risk taking in a way that insures that the other person will experience beneficial consequences. This is accomplished by being accepting, supportive, cooperative, and empathetic. Expressing acceptance is responding to that person with high regard and mutual respect. Expressing supportiveness is being encouraging and emotionally supportive concerning their perspective and observations, and their abilities and capabilities. Expressing cooperative intentions involves continued discussions about working together and achieving mutual goals. Expressing empathy creates warmth and understanding which increases trust in the relationship, even when there are unresolved conflicts. Trust is a two way street, we need to be trusting and trustworthy. Creating a supportive communication climate is critical in establishing trust. Creating an environment where people feel little risk in honest interactions is possible. Establish trust by being open and honest. Maintain trust by being accepting, supportive, and expressing cooperative intentions. Consistently demonstrate that you are willing to talk it out and work it out. Check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 275 Kit Welchlin
Procrastination: What Does Indecision Have To Do with Procrastination?
It is important to be decisive, but obstacles and potential problems can paralyze our thoughts and actions. When we have a strong desire to be right or a strong desire to avoid being wrong, we may delay decisions. Indecision and perfectionism are often dance partners. When I deliver presentations on decision-making, we discuss the four stages of decision-making: framing the situation, gathering information and intelligence, reaching conclusions, and reviewing and evaluating the process and the product. Spend about 25% of your time on each stage. There is a time for deliberation, and there is a time for action. Being decisive is one of the keys to unlock the grip of procrastination. If analysis paralysis is the problem, set a deadline for gathering the best information available and then unleash the courage to make the best decision possible. There is a terrible diminishing return on perfectionism. To be more decisive, consider Pareto’s Principle, or the 80-20 rule: for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. Many natural phenomena have been shown empirically to exhibit such a distribution. So, recognize the few critical activities that will have the greatest impact, and focus your attention on doing those things first. If you are still worried that something may go wrong, be sure to clearly focus on what you want to accomplish, write down the potential obstacles or difficulties you may face, think of a variety of possible solutions, and select the ones that seem to have the best chance. This type of positive planning will keep procrastination at bay. Sometimes we think about the worst things that can happen and we stall. Do some planning to prevent the worst from happening and make the decision. You’ll be all right.
Views: 450 Kit Welchlin
Team Building:  How Do You Get Team Members to Talk?
It is important to get team members to talk. What limits interaction is when we remind people that we don’t have money in the budget or that we tried that once and it didn’t work. Good meeting participants know how to get participation. They say the right things in the right ways to invite input and keep it coming. It is important to be an ego-builder rather than an ego-buster. Ego-building comments are saying things like these: “I’m glad you brought that up.” “That’s an interesting thought.” “Okay, let’s build on that.” “Let’s keep going with this.” “You’re on the right track. What else?” “Good idea. Who else has a suggestion?” Be careful not to say ego-busting comments like: “Too risky.” “There’s no money in the budget for that.” “We tried that once and it didn’t work.” Here is something I would like you to do over the next week. Write down all of the ego-busting no-no phrases you hear and script a professional response for each. Then when someone uses an ego-busting no-no phrase, again, you will be ready to respond professionally and keep the discussion going positively. We have all heard that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. But, words can hurt your team and its performance. Consider your responses and be recognized as a person that builds people up rather than tearing people down. Your team is the perfect place to start. Check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 327 Kit Welchlin
Why Do Baby Boomers Think They're Cool? - presented by Kit Welchlin
Generational Communication: Why Do Baby Boomers Think They're Cool? Baby Boomers invented the word "Cool." They were cool when they were young and the consider themselves cool today. Baby Boomers have worked hard to stay current. This has fueled their status. Baby Boomers are the self-improvement generation. They are optimistic, team oriented and believe in personal and professional growth. Boomers like imported cars and designer everything - designer clothes, designer suits, and now designer bodies. Baby Boomers thrive on developmental experiences, want to solve problems, turn things around and really make a difference. Encourage your Baby Boomers to read books, be active in professional associations and attend seminars and workshops. The Boomers have always been cool. Today they still think they are and that is what motivates them to stay relevant. Baby Boomers, nobody questions whether your cool or not. Stay current with technology and maintain your status! For more on Generational Communication, follow this link watch Kit's presentation http://welchlin.com/presentations/generational-communication/. And don't forget to check back here next Monday for another video blog.
Views: 447 Kit Welchlin
Are there different levels of listening?
It is important to apply critical thinking skills, however, people might start to think you’re kind of critical. Critical listening is valuable and centers on understanding a message and evaluating it. Then determining whether to accept or reject the message based on a standard of judgment upon which to conduct a careful analysis of the strengths and weaknesses of a position or decision. However, there are different levels of listening. Discriminative listening is when a person listens for the purpose of distinguishing sound or visual differences, like a mechanic opening the hood of your car or taking a test drive. Comprehensive listening is when the listener’s objective is to understand the information or material, like back in high school or in college to pass the test. Therapeutic Listening is when a listener acts as a soundboard for a person to talk out a problem, like a friend, a colleague, or a counselor. Appreciative listening is when a person listens to something to gain pleasure or an impression of the material, like music or your favorite motivational speaker. So much of our communication behavior is a pattern. Some researchers claim that nearly 80% of our communication behavior is automatic. We are kind of like giant jukeboxes. When people push our buttons, we reach up, grab a record, and give it a spin. We need to pause, scratch the record, and choose how to respond rather than react. Check back to Welchlin.com every Monday for a new video blog.
Views: 529 Kit Welchlin
Intercultural Communication:  What About Power Distance?
As I have gotten older, I have noticed that some of my college students see me as just this old guy that has read a few books. I feel little status. However, some of my other students thank me for sharing my knowledge and ideas, and recognize and support my status. I have a hunch this could be related to something in intercultural communication called power distance. Power distance refers to the degree to which members are willing to accept a difference in power and status between members of a group. People from low power distance cultures believe in the principle of equality. They are less likely to feel that groups need a leader, or that people who occupy that role automatically deserve unquestioning obedience. They also expect leaders to be more considerate of their interests and needs, whether it is you, or the administration, or the company. People from high power distance cultures tend to willingly subordinate themselves to a leader; especially one whose title comes from socially accepted sources such as age, experience, training, or status. So given your age, experience, and training, you are granted a certain degree of status from them. It feels good to be granted some status. It feels good to feel valued. There is a difference across cultures when it comes to power distance and status. It is amazing, in the United States, if you really wanted to (with a few phone calls to your congressional representatives), you could probably talk to the president of this country. That is remarkable.
Views: 436 Kit Welchlin

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